Surviving Disclosure: A Partner's Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust. By Jennifer P. Schneider M.D. and M. Deborah Corley Ph.D. Recovery Resources Press, 2012. $18.00. Also available as a Kindle Edition ebook for $9.99
Praise for Surviving Disclosure:
"Disclosure is one of the most difficult things anyone will do in recovery. To addicts and their partners/families, it is daunting, scary and truly seems impossible. In these two books, Doctors Schneider and Corley have made the impossible not just possible but achievable. In easy and clear language they take people step-by-step through the process of disclosure.
and Surviving Disclosure
are comprehensive guides for addicts and their families to do what is most frightening — become honest and transparent to the ones they love. For therapists, these books are invaluable tools to help recovering addicts and their families heal from the destruction of addiction. Thank you Jennifer and Deb for making that process easier and less scary for everyone involved, including clinicians!"
Ann Foster, Founder & President, Millennium Counseling Center
"Surviving Disclosure: A Partner's Guide for Surviving Disclosure and the Trauma Associated with Addiction is a timely and immensely useful guidebook for helping partners survive the emotionally difficult disclosure process, using compassionate, yet direct intervention. Especially useful are the self-reflection exercises, and thoughtful suggestions about how and what to tell children. I recommend all therapists working with couples facing the disclosure of sexual betrayal to read and use this fine resource. The FAQ section is tremendous!"
Anna Valenti-Anderson, LCSW, LISAC, CSAT Private practice in Phoenix, AZ, specializing in sex, intimacy and codependency.
"Deb Corley and Jennifer Schneider, both towering leaders in the field of sex addiction recovery, have updated and improved their already classic book about disclosing secrets by turning it into two companion texts, this one which is designed for the addict and another which is specifically written for the partner, Surviving Disclosure: A Partner's Guide for Surviving Disclosure and the Trauma Associated with Addiction. Both are exceedingly helpful to couples navigating through the painful process of addiction recovery, which is an especially difficult journey when sexual deception is involved. This book is full of practical advice for managing the difficult process of disclosing the secrets that inevitably accompany addiction, whether it is the first admission of the true extent of the problem or the painful acknowledgement that a relapse has occurred. There's an old saying in addiction recovery that 'you're only as sick as your secrets', and this book is an effective guide for moving into health and integrity. An effective disclosure process includes specific actions to take before, during and after the painful information has been revealed, and Surviving Disclosure offers wise suggestions and practical advice for using apprioriate disclosure as part of much-needed healing both for the addict and his or her partner. The process of disclosing secrets about addiction is not a one-size-fits-all process: there are many variables to consider and this book covers them all. The chapter on disclosing to children is especially useful in meeting the needs of this vulnerable population. The inclusion of a set of frequently asked questions is especially useful for those seeking the best way to take one of the hardest and most important steps toward healing damaged relationships. There is no better way to approach the disclosure of secrets than this book and its companion for partners. Together they will help guide many relationships to a healthier life."
Bill Herring LCSW, CSAT Private Practice, Atlanta, Georgia
"Disclosure is one of the most difficult tasks for the addict and can be the most traumatizing for the partner. Any therapist working with this population must understand the process of disclosure and the effects if not done within a structured process. The authors articulate this very well and provide a solid framework to help the partner understand the reasons for the disclosure and what some of the pitfalls are, if not done properly. This book will help the therapist in guiding the process so the most benefit will be achieved. This is a must read for all partners and certainly for all therapists working in this area. This book is a guide that answers some of the most frequently asked questions by both partners and therapists and should be given to every partner when they enter therapy, before disclosure. An excellent resource and my deepest gratitude for the authors contribution to the field."
Barbara Levinson Ph.D, RN, LMFT, LSOTP, Certified Sex Therapist Diplomate. The Center for Healthy Sexuality, Houston, TX
"In Surviving Disclosure: A Partner's Guide for Surviving Disclosure and the Trauma Associated with Addiction, Drs. Jennifer P. Schneider and M. Deborah Corley offer a compassionate and thorough step-by-step guide to help wade through the murky waters of pain and confusion following the disclosure of sexual secrets. Their clinical experience sensitively offers help to partners sorting through the many decisions and difficulties that are faced with the betrayal of trust. This book is sure to become a critical companion for those on the path toward healing as well as for the clinicians who treat them."
Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D.,CSAT, Author of Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners and When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment and Clinical Director of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates in suburban Detroit, Michigan and Life Healing in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
"Ten years ago, Drs. Jennifer Schneider and Deb Corley provided the sex addiction community with a much needed and expertly written guide for couples struggling with the complexities of disclosure due to betrayal from sex addiction. One decade later, Drs. Schneider and Corley have done it again! They've succeeded in providing two masterfully written, practical and invaluable manuals for those struggling with disclosure. Their newly released addict's guide and the accompanying guide for partners surviving disclosure, offer essential step-by-step guidance for a variety of disclosure circumstances, current research, and 'how-to' resources to move beyond the pain and trauma of discovery. These guides are an invaluable 'must read' for individuals who are struggling with the distress of sex addiction, disclosure and for professionals who work with couples and sexual infidelity."
Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LAC, LISAC, CSAT-S Private practice, Tucson, AZ
"Integrity and vulnerability are the heart of all healthy relationships. Corley and Schneider lead the way, assisting couples in developing the courage to embrace these foundational practices, and providing them with a map for the journey. Their work is timely and essential!"
Sonnee D. Weedn, Ph.D. Clinical and Forensic Psychologist Founder of Sonnee Weedn Institute for Integrative Therapy
"In the area of guiding partners of sex addicts through the rocky waters of disclosure Corley & Schneider's, Surviving Disclosure: A Partner's Guide for Surviving Disclosure and the Trauma Associated with Addiction is a beacon of light illuminating the way for women and men to reclaim their lives and restore trust in their relationships after the ravages of sex addiction."
Alexandra Katehakis, author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction.
"Schneider and Corley's new book, Surviving Disclosure, is an excellent guide for partners who face what can be one of the most traumatic events of their life: disclosure of a spouse's sex addiction. The authors provide a detailed, step-by-step guide for partners navigating the disclosure, including how to tell their children, how to deal with possible relapses and, when both partners are committed to recovery, how to heal and grow their relationship."
Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, and How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To.
"For partners of sex addicts, disclosure is the pivotal event in moving forward with life and the relationship. While disclosure brings both hope and fear, Drs. Schneider and Corley combine their expertise to show partners how to survive and heal. Partners will find wisdom, direction and hope in this book."
Milton S. Magness, D Min, MA Psy, CSAT Author of Thirty Days to Hope & Freedom From Sexual Addiction, Hope & Freedom for Sexual Addicts and Their Partners, and I Can Stop DVD series.
"Dr. Schneider and Dr. Corley adeptly describe the pain of living with sexual betrayal and the ensuing trauma that comes with chronic deception. In Surviving Disclosure, a person climbing out of disclosure despair will find answers, relief, and hope. For clinicians assisting the brave folks recovering their sexual lives, this is an essential text for the office library and bibliotherapy."
Kelly McDaniel LPC, NCC, CSAT author of Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships. She is contributing author of Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide to Treating Women Addicted to Sex and Love.
"Deb Corley and Jennifer Schneider leave no stone unturned in providing the necessary information to help partners of addicts cope with lies and betrayals through addiction. In an area that is dark and feels hopeless, Surviving Disclosure shines a light and helps couples find their way back to each other. This guide matches no other in terms of its inclusiveness of all the ins and outs of what is experienced through the process of disclosure."
Joe Kort, Ph.D., Founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health
"Groundbreaking work and extremely important to those confronting disclosure in their relationship. A thoughtful, and thorough guide and by far the best on the market! This invaluable book will help avoid pitfalls in the disclosure process and shape a positive and informed outcome for those impacted by sex addiction."
Cara W. Tripodi, LCSW, CSAT-S, Executive Director, STAR/Sexual Trauma & Recovery, Inc.
"As professionals steadily refine the process of addiction recovery, there remains far too little focus on the profound betrayal experienced by those close to addicts — whose love and relationship trust has been broken. This book is a refreshingly validating, balanced and useful healing guide for those whose belief in trust, love and commitment have been disrupted by being in relationship to an addict. There is hope and healing in these pages!"
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S Author, Educator: Sex & Intimacy Disorder's Expert, Elements Behavioral Health
"Partners of addicts are often traumatized when they learn of the secret life of the addict. Through this incredible resource, Schneider and Corley share with partners what to expect and how to support themselves through this very difficult process. This is an essential guide for any partner experiencing disclosure".
Stefanie Carnes, PhD, LMFT Author of Mending a Shattered Heart a Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts and Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts.
"Jennifer Schneider and Deborah Corley have pioneered in the whole roller-coaster world of disclosure and brought real help to both addicts and partners. This new version of disclosing secrets will be appreciated by all involved."
Dr. Patrick Carnes, Leading author and researcher in the field of sex addiction
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